I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
