My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
