The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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