she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
