so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
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She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
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I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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