This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
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