what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
