i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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