it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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