I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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