this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
