If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
bring money and cleavage
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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