remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
