When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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