it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Come on in and take your pants off
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