Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
