Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
