I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
