when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
