SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
