youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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