i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
