What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
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i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
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I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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