i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
