I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
