i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
