Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
