she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There's always time for handjobs
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
