You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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