id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
