So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
