Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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