My hair reeks of homosexuality.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
