Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
