hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
