I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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