It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
no you cant smoke seaweed
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize