their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
