Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I wear drunk well.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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