Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
