Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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