btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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