you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
