I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
