Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
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I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
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When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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