Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
