i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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