the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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