oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
