The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
