We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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