I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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