Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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