I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Randomize
