hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
