Your tits are I can't wait for
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
