I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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