sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
