My balls are so social today.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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