I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
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