I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i believe in u and ur pee
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I think i got beer on your cat.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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